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The KidVegeta Anthology/Bardock's Some Hot Space Garbage and You're a Cuck
This is the eighth Baby You're a Rich Man entry, and the first one done in collaboration with TeamUnitedNerds. It was a bitch trying to get that fucker to write a couple BYARM one-shots with me. As I came up with BYARM, it became clear to me that there were three open slots for collaborators. Destructivedisk and I wrote the first collection over 2015 to early 2016. Creeperman129 and I wrote the second collection in 2016. Because of Creeperman's relative lack of experience and his position on the wiki, that meant that of my three collaborators, he had to be the Ringo. This was during an extended TUN hiatus from the wiki, so I wasn't too concerned. When TUN did return, though, that made things a bit more complicated, because he's the usual Ringo around these parts. I had also been considering WaffleMinifigure for the third collaborator spot, but TUN came back first. It took a bit of convincing, but I got him to agree to two of these stories. He became my 2017 collaborator. This was the first one. The first one is usually the roughest - at least it was for my collabs with DD and Creeperman. I think it was also like that for TUN in this one, but I'll get more into that in the endnotes. So, TUN came up with the idea. It was very casual. TUN is a unique individual, handling the brainstorming process in a much different way than Creeperman or DD. He was much more concerned with following protocol than them, but he was also much more willing to get into the spirit of BYARM than those two, at least at first (DD got real into it by our second story). He made the page on google docs, which was titled "Let's see how long it takes me to regret this". A nice name, that. Very nice. We began writing on January 7, 2017 at 8:40 pm TUN's time. We each wrote two sections that day. I was high as fuck when I wrote that. Since my last BYARM with Creeperman, I've moved away from edibles towards vaping weed, and that has helped with me get high faster for these stories. It's also a different type of high. It's a shorter high while vaping, and the strain I was using was more cerebral than my edible. So basically, when I wrote this story, I was fucked up. Like seriously. I was super high, and it was all a head-high, not a body-high like my edible. It was intense. The head high makes me more creative and happy, I think. We'll see if that panned out in the prose, although it probably didn't. That's probably more evident in my canon-following stories that I wrote while high. TUN wrote his third section on January 8, though after he finished it, he told me he couldn't write any more for the rest of the day. I began my third section that day, but didn't finish it until January 9, because he wasn't going to go again that day anyways. We took a few days off and wrote the entire rest of the story (3 more sections each) on January 16. The last bit of writing, done by me, was finalized at 8:18 pm TUN's time, and the story was posted to the wiki shortly after. I like that this story is short. Its leanness is unique. However, for our next collaboration, TUN will have to contribute more, as I wrote 62% of this story, as short as it is. TUN's prose starts off conservative, as did DD's and Creeperman's, but he quickly got down to business - far faster than the other two. Also, TUN was inconsistent in describing his feelings about this story. Does he love it? Does he think it's a mistake? Who the fuck cares, right? We got some dank comedy here. Puff puff daddy puff. Story The stuff that I wrote is in bold. Bardock was infamous for conquering many planets in the name of the planet trade organization, but in addition to cqonuering the lands themselves, he would also conquer, consensually, the planets sexually active occupents. noot just the females, because sometimes species dont have ladies, and sometimes if youre a saiyan you just need to mix it aup a bit, yiou know? Anyways, many a tempeting tasteful space harlot would find themselves in the receiving end of his mighty saiyan cock, which he called his democracy poker. Bardoock find himself abiove a particularly lavcious creature, a sultry cuboid with multiple tentacles as appendages and makings on its surface that could only generously be described a s aface. Bardock moved his eyes across her lovly, angular form, as his rection throbbed mightily neath his tights. His eyes could not locate any visible hole for fucking, but that wasnt enough to stop a fucking badass like bardock. “I can make this work” he muttered to himself, above the unfuckable piece of geometry. Lustily, he tore into her with his erectcock, like when you try to jam a usb cable into something but it doesnt work so you turn it around so it still doesn’t work. Bardock ventually blew his mighty load into her, cause even a badass saiyan cant hold it for very long while looking at all those sexy vertices. “Yeah baby” bardock said, which was appropriate since he just impregnated her with his hot saiyan load. “Brilliant show mate” fasha holding two fingers in her puse (no clit shown), she like this kinda partayy very much and sof roth and so on. “I’ve got my dick wet so many times these aliens give me all sorts of STGIs…… i don’t like it rawr!” Bardock the gorilla tore off his cock with one mighty hand and threw the limp dicc on the ground. It was at this point that Toma rushed over to the small paeanis. He picked it up with his yellow disgusting teeth like my baby momma from the state of hungary. Then borgos took a dicc pic w/ toma nd bardocks ween. It was wonderful. Then borgos u no he’s a fat one right yea he got real hungry. Shugesh is the other porker on the team and he is a fat one and he is a hungry one. So they take bardock’s limp penis and throw it on the grill. “Something smell’s good. Tee-hee, ahahaheeheehee!” Bardock’s glee was immistakable like a blowjob from a fish that ur good m8 holds for u as u pump ur hips. “/yeah we got a cook on”toma complained. “Heeh it’s a small one,” gasha grunted. Obsequious as a tailor in a pub on Eldridge and Pave, Shugesh got on his knees. “Please, Borgos, I beg of thee.” Borgos stood proud and folded his arms. One still held a spatula for flippin the sizzlin cock. “Go on, peasant, speak. Iam your god now.” “I want the helmet side, please mate. Please, i dun ask for much, but i want bardocks helmet bloody fuckin hell mate.” “Ok nu t but only bc u asked nicely.” “Ty” B say dinners reddy. Shugest get frist pick and then he goes hum diddly yum yum and dtakes a bite out of the penis like a chicken wing. “Heh bardock never thought id have ur cock in me mouth” “Shugesh shut ur whore whole this is not a time to joke” bardock was bleeding everywhere. Fuck fuck st“Dont we have a planet to destroy fascha said while twiddling her enormous clit” “We dont destroy planets we just kill everyone on them, dummy” the uh, the fat one said. “Right okay well, i dont want to kill my baby momma so lets just murder everone else” bardock said. Bardock flew to the planet’s capital and killed thier leader with an energy vlast () his name was circus charlie btw) Also toma, faschism, and the other ones killed some people too i guess. They tried to avoid killing ardock’s baby momma but they all looked the same to them because they were racist so they mightve fucked up But they didnt. Bardock and his crew flew off to tell frieze of their work while bardock suddenly remembered that his dick had been cut off. Meanwhile sphagetti (that was her name” the rectangular temtress that bardock had seeded was about to produce his son cause her species isnt pregnant for long. First she performed the dance of birth to prepare her orrifice for the baby, which was not the same oridif cthat bardock had stick his dick into. Tehen the baby burst forth from her in a horific fountain of blood and bodily orgams. His mom immediately died for unrelated reasons and he was left the last survivor of his spceies. This is really happening this is really happening theres blood all over the floor take the money and run take the money. “Im alive wheeee!!” said child of sphagget. My half-brother likes to rub his erect penis on inside of a human’s vaginal cavity to produce offspring!! Then he slimed away like one of those cretins in sonikfan’s only story he ever wrote. I want to eat all of these people before we leave, complained the borgos. Borgos there’s no time The seed is strong” came the voice of Wildeerbark Javerdine. He was of the lesser celadine, though not quite of the stock of stockfish or jackfruitboi. “Cheap sex nd sad films help me get back in ur arms,” bardock pined for sphagget. He yearned for her like he yearned for fish fand finger pie. But lets not get graphic here liets not get crazy ok shits Shits: Okay!! Ok we real now. We real deep. We real deep. Ice age comin’ bitches. Ice up son. He was a tiny little space shrew, a tiny little imp of sorts, with a wispy tiny beard, he’s so cute and ancient and what a shrew. But wise and wise for bardock and crew. “I said we real let me hear u speak bitches nothin means something but somethin doesnt mean nothin.” “I have one opinion and one opinion only,” Bardock said. “Dont do it daddy.” fasha painting her nails and such. “I will cunt.” “Ayy, that’s right. I could smell her cunts from here.” That was Geiko ythe space gecko. “I’ll get a right peek on her soon enough. Onlyu a right cunt deserves a cunt like that.” and he wrinkles his nose in disgust and whatnot he’ wathcinfr om afar waiting for time 2 make his move. Fuck it, i dont even care Its 30 years in the futuere or whatever, and pasta (thats his name) got into a spacebpod off of his shitty planet to go search for his long lost brother which he knew he had, cause barock was a pimp who didn’t use consdoms. Pasta was a horrible amalgom of angular cuboid structure and loosely-fitting, droopy saiyan flesh, hanging off of his abomitable form. But he was pretty okay with that. He landed on earth, just after goku &copmpany defeated buu and turned him into a small indian child The derspicable creature landed in front of kami house (kiame house?) and climbed out of his pod, slithiering his patheitic form into the sand. “Goku, im your borther” he said. Goku ws eating while master roshi was investigating some tasty baps. “Holy shit, what is that, kill it with fire” the pig said. “Shut up, you’re a pigman and you’re alos like 12” the cat said. “Gee fella, what the fuck are you,” goku said, stopping whatever it was he was doing. “Im your brothr, pasta,” a gurgling pustule on pasta’s vast pulsating mass spurted. “Hey gayhan, come over here and meet your uncle” goku said. But gohan didnt come because he sucks. Goku always wanted a brother. Then he could’ve played monster rain with him but now it was too late for that. there was this shark his name was Barnaby he was good at scrivening my sister went to him all the time to get workerd on. Suddenly turtle jr. was swimming in the sea looking to get scrabs like his papi had. There are huge majestic tuna in the sea and they cum everywhere. in the water um gets everywhere thats a life lesson i leanred when i was 13. All the fish are swimming with their mouths open they drink each others cum all day A seamonkey went up his uthrethra There was a scary scark and he was comin for turt. Jr. but at the last second some crusty old sailor caught him and hoisted him up look how wonderful a hunter he is, hes a real man he’s got courage and strength pls mate with him asap His name was Smoker’s Beard and he was an emulsive strawberry surprise. He took a pretty selfie with the shark hanging from the mast of his ship. Smoker’s Beard made sure to hold a rifle, dress himself up in a sleeping bag, and have his erect penile instrument poking out as well. IT was a wonderful pic and afterwards he threw the shark carcass back into the sea he had no use for it anymore. None of that had anyhting to do with pasta who was currently clithering along the ground towards his niece goahn, wanting to give him a big ol uncley hug Goahn was totally gine with his weird ass uncle but videl didnt want anyone touching her previous girlfriend. Videl was gregnant with her child so she was filled with saiyan power. She fired a big fetus laser frmo her baby bump that turned pasta intos omething that was even shbittier than he was before because noe he was dead. “Holy shit” go0ku said, standing over the ruined corpse of his brother, except he didnt have a hole in his chest this time and it was a fetuss fault instead of piccolo Speaking of piccolo, piccolo was knealing down on the ground, eating a handful of sand like a fuckin badass Then pasta shit himself out of every single hole which was a lot because hei was like 70% hole A red cunts hair is the thinnest and shortest of all cunts hairs. From the sands of roshis shore pasta shit and his shit was magica cuz his mom was a kai or something idk In cloud cuckoo land lived a man named Desmond. He was an amiable man of the most noble visage and persona. He was, in a matter of words, a commisurate poo-ppoo platter. His barrow is bigger than this girl Shawn-queese i know at school. Happy ever after, Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face, and in the evening, he’s actually a little clown named dango. Now i know what ur saying, how can he do this to his wife and go out at night and party while she has to stay hom and bake kfinger pies and whatnot but its not like that homely, its not He was supposed to welcome basta to earth uz pasta is one of those alien fuckers dont wantn hi to ble owl aip the earth. And if u blow up the earth well what can i see u gotta problem so thats why they send in the clowns aka dango. Dango like d to baint his pretty face. He carried around a puppet he called Swag and Pepper, based on an old chinese child addicted to opium, it’s really a great analogy to something a long time ago. When dd and I wrote about Swag and Pepper I was taking a class on asain world history and all that boring shit. Ut now i dont study china but Swag and Pepper still smokes his opium its cirlce of lie. “He stuck his hand up Swag n Peppers puppet hole and did ventriloquism with small chinese child of old man with a pony tail and oopium mustache. He was gonna go cheer pasta up its not everyday u find out ur a bastard child. That was when dango ran into future tournament announcer dude who was in cloud cuckoo land 2, which is a cumshot away from Limbo, HZ’s fav dead place to go for all his character. Hes a sadomachichist and he likes when naked girls hold weapons or are being mated by large monster-like cretures. HZ has weird fetishes like that, but his worst fiesthis imo is his love of naked girsl being swallowed by big tentacle aliens and somehow that makes him cum wtf “Tights and bulma r the puse,” tourney reminded him Desmond the dango boy couldnt disagree “ya they hot but i gotta cum inside someone else That was when space juice karived and raped desmond through the anus and it came out his mouth and he was spinning him around like a hog on a stick while salza warmed him up from behind oh no desmond died he cant save the fucking mistake festus little shit kaisaiyan hybrid thing idevk what this shit storys about Turn of tun (for real) Holy shit is hz really into that Yes I really am a perfect caucasian chinese george harrison then We’re keeping this all in btw Beerus came down from the sky and looked at all was happening, and he was not pleased. Also whis was there, and he brought vados along, because he was in vados-ing her pussy with his blue penis, or bepis.9+ Uh Beerus got really angry at all this stupid bullshit so he pointed his finger and used that one bullshit move from xenoverse 2 where it takes away all your stamina like wtf Meanwhile whis and vados were peeing on each other cause thats what they were into and you just have to deal with taht The beam hit gohan in the tit and he fucking died. Then the fuckin puppet exploded on an island 4 miles away and yamcha shit himself and died. U know how beerus and whis and shit are named after drinks? Well if their names were based on wht they actaully drank whis and vados’s names would be Piss 1 and Piss 2. Well we’re the human race, we’re gotta partayy outta this place. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck jeepers mmmcock,” his name was Debra he wore a trainer bra, brah No he wasnt another velma whose red cunts hairs are shorter than dango. He made this little shit called bumblee how the fuck can he even fly hes not really fat though but hes got wee horns so that counts for something right “Baby baby boy baby boy baby,” complained Kukajabaram y favorite of all the lumpy lawn gnomes “i need a potato face cum baby” “Ive got my roomkey in the car, why dnt u lube my pistol” complained Issssss. Brck. Montgomery was wondering where Issss. Brck. was but he cund tind find him so what can you do sometings u gotta cum by urself. When chiharu slept on top of me she was like bitch rub ur dick against my puse and im like wtf whered that come from ur a crazy half-japanese girl she did it to me every time except the last time when Now i know what ur sayin, he hasn’t referenced the Guac!! Shut fcuk ur mouth bitch titits. Ok so abo and kado are like a pair of lesbians right, they both enjoy scissoring and something else lesbians like. My cousin is a lesbian. She married another lesbian. She’s kinda hot but her wife isn’t. Why am I more attracted to my cousin than her wife, that’s a question for my next section. Abo and Kado were walking down the road when suddenly they got a great idea. It involved Tarble a blow torch and one of those inflatable tubes. “I took atrip down to mexico with my father and brother, Abo,” kado said real pleasntly. “U cnt ever rely know how cn u ever rly know” “Ya,” Abo agreed, bouncing his belly and fucking his pucci hard with a thumb. “Thats the trip we had our first threesome!” “U cunt evr know u cnt evr rly know,” Abo said real pleasantly. “Ya” Abo agreed, “my cunny tastes like honey.” “Im the big boy now” beerus said as he proceed to fuckin kill evey eonse except goku, who he also kiilled “I want no fuckin part of this shit anymore” Beerus got really into this shite while he destroyed all the z fighters and then decided to destroy earth as well cause hed already takn some chnks out of it in the rpocess. I meant to type chunks im not racist. Beerus got so charged up with power that his hair started to grow back sop he wasn’t a hairless cat anymore hewas a big ol snuggy fluffy boy now while he proceeded to murder the fuck out of the solar system.+ He destroyed neptune because fuck neptune tbh Then he blew up the milkey way or the north galaxy or whatever they call it in this shit. Take that broly you fuckin cunt all uir movies sucked xept like 5 mintues of the first one Then berus blew up the phole universe except whis swung his cock around and hit his head with a trickle of pee and beerus was mad beause pee is really hard to get out of fur And we say we’re in love with all of it. And we say what can we say? It was a faraway world where the rumored baby boy Gucci Gnocchi was being cared for by his grand-pappy’s uncle Sebastian the Starchild. He had a sailor’s beard all yellow and grey and he liked to lick salt off his lips. Once upon a time there was a saiyan named Bardock he was a low-class piece of space trash and also a doctor in some dubs bu thats a bit of controversy so well not go ther “Once upon a time I fucked SEbastian’s little sister when she was about 120 years old her pucci dry as “Ok we get it,” say goku “get to the god part i wanna ride the hsfat” “Haha then he’ll be shafted,” beerus said amused “did u hear that whis i need mu pudding asap” Gucci Gnocchi liked to climb the steps and chase space babboons and surf on space coconuts and fondle his grand-papi grand ucnle King Sebastian of the Starchilds beard. Yu hear that pasta ur not the only bastard of my loins!! Pasta squealed and cummed for his daddy, bardock threw some sand on him for good measure. “Where my bastard brother i wanna see him and then we can “Ull never see him u little shit bardock muttered, “ curse u pasta i gotta yell now!!” he step back make a blue energy ball. “Curse u……………………………. PASTA!!!” One time my friend mr. q said he dont like pasta i like what nigga u 4 real who doesnt like pasta and he replied maybe a dango ate ur baby cunt. Endnotes #I named this story. I came up with it after TUN failed to come up with a name (it was his job), and it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. That said, I really do believe you're a cuck. #The picture was chosen by me. I actually know of this picture from many years ago, simply because it has kid Vegeta in the picture. I've had that picture saved for years, although King Vegeta and Bardock are cropped out of my copy. So I went looking on rule34 when we were getting close to completion, hoping to find something funny or interesting. There were two pictures that were usable - nothing else was. Bardock's really the only character who can be in the picture, as one of Goku or Krillin and Roshi on the beach or whatever would just be a cheap way to get a pic that's barely related to the story. That's not what I wanted to do. The other option for the picture was one of Bardock and King Vegeta lying on a table or something, eating fruit naked (although there was no actual shown peepees yo). I put it up to TUN, and he chose the picture that is currently on this page. Also, I'm pretty sure kid Vegeta's hair is brown in that pic, which is annoying as fuck. #TUN's opening paragraph is a masterful show of his quality as a writer. He shows unnatural intuition for this kind of storytelling. #In later scenes, I had trouble remembering what kind of creature bardock mates with to start off with. To this day, I don't really get what she's supposed to look like. I just see blurs and tentacles and gloop in my brain and it's hot. #So Bardock cutting off his penis is based on an image on the internet of a man doing just that. And yes, he takes the pic with the severed cock in his mouth. #Cooking Bardock's penis was based on this. #"Bardock’s glee was immistakable like a blowjob from a fish that ur good m8 holds for u as u pump ur hips." - the last part is a reference to a lyric from Be Brave by Modest Mouse. The fish thing is a reference to a video I saw once somewhere of a dude basically masturbating another dude with a fish. There was a long discussion going on in the thread as to if this was gay or not. I just thought it was weird. Who uses a fish to fap? They must've found one that didn't have teeth. #"Obsequious as a tailor in a pub on Eldridge and Pave, Shugesh got on his knees. “Please, Borgos, I beg of thee.”" - I'm reminded of my last English Lit GSI instructor, this PHD student named Jose who once deconstructed a poem written by John Donne (yeah, it was The Flea, so what) with such elegance and intelligence that I gained eternal respect for him. That dude was a boss. He was also fat as fuck and reminded me of Shugesh, so there you go. This was about as lovey-dovey as I got in this story, although comparing him to Shugesh is not flattering. #Do you know, as crazy as this is, the opening couple scenes with Bardock and co. probably aren't technically non-canon, though they'd be low-quality because of OOC issues. I mean, we never see Bardock fuck anyone after Goku's born, so he could've ripped off his own penis. #The helmet joke is better than I remembered it. It's a good example of my writing style in this story overall. It's so petty and needlessly graphic, and yet, that scene was something that had to be told cuz when I was high I saw it in my mind's eye, and only a fool lets inspiration go to waste. #In my opinion, TUN's second section is a drop off in quality from the first. #"This is really happening this is really happening theres blood all over the floor take the money and run take the money." - these are some semi-jumbled lyrics from Idioteque by Radiohead. Basically I was just super high and wanted to convey my state-of-mind before getting into it, like TUN did to start his second section. In fact, TUN is the only one I know to constantly use this technique in a BYARM story. I don't think crepeboi ever tried that technique, although I know that DD did at least once. Although his was more like "shit nigga whats this story even about" or something like that. Think it was in Thank the Eastern Supreme Kai for Girls. #"My half-brother likes to rub his erect penis on inside of a human’s vaginal cavity to produce offspring!!" - this is 100% true of both of my half-brothers, although not of my younger brother. #"Then he slimed away like one of those cretins in sonikfan’s only story he ever wrote." - SonikFan could've been big if he hadn't been so goddamn lazy. #"Borgos there’s no time" - this is one of my favorite lines because we don't know who said it, and due to the fact that their complaint is about time constraints, not about Borgos desiring to eat other living sentients. #"The seed is strong” came the voice of Wildeerbark Javerdine. He was of the lesser celadine, though not quite of the stock of stockfish or jackfruitboi." - Stockfish is a famous chess engine. I like chess. The seed is strong is a quote from A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin which is repeated throughout the novel many a time. It's a pretty stupid thing to keep saying over and over again, so it was right at home in this story. One more interesting thing to note here is the use of "lesser celadine". This is of course a real vegetable. I was considering using it as the name pun for Olivien for a while, but ultimately didn't go with that. Roughly 1 1/2 pages of Country Matters were written when I wrote the above quote. #"“Cheap sex nd sad films help me get back in ur arms,” bardock pined for sphagget." - a reference to Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead. I very much like that acoustic version (mostly because it includes a fantastic third verse that the album version cut), but I generally only reference/listen to it when I'm feeling depressed. #"He yearned for her like he yearned for fish fand finger pie. But lets not get graphic here liets not get crazy ok shits" - a fish and finger pie is referenced in "Penny Lane" by the Beatles, which is exactly what you'd expect - a somewhat concealed reference to fingerbanging a girl. This is nice meta humor, I think. #The shits quote in drama format reminds me of Creeperman's style. #"Ok we real now. We real deep. We real deep. Ice age comin’ bitches. Ice up son." - Ice Age Coming is a story I think I wrote. It's also a reference to lyrics from the afore-mentioned "Idioteque". I was extremely high when I wrote this part. #"He was a tiny little space shrew, a tiny little imp of sorts, with a wispy tiny beard, he’s so cute and ancient and what a shrew. But wise and wise for bardock and crew. “I said we real let me hear u speak bitches nothin means something but somethin doesnt mean nothin.”" - I quite enjoy lyrical prose, and this is no exception. While the pace is a bit odd for what would be seen in normal prose, I'm quite proud of it. As to the quote itself, now that I re-read it, I do see what I was going for with it, but I shall not reveal everything here. #"“I have one opinion and one opinion only,” Bardock said." - I never address what Bardock's opinion is, but it's clearly, "FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZA!!". Also, having one opinion and one opinion only is a terrifying notion that builds upon the philosophy of the space shrew's previous quote. #The gecko being able to smell Fasha's cunt is a second reference to Hannibal in this story; I've just no idea why I referenced that series twice here. #Fasha has multiple cunts, but that should come as no surprise. Every hole's a cunt to someone. #In the entire second section, I've noticed an elevation of wit and prose shenanigans. This indicates that I was higher for my second section than my first. "Onlyu a right cunt deserves a cunt like that." - that is just a great quote, but it works off what I just mentioned too. #TUN was wise to move on to Goku and the others in his third scene. #TUN's third section is great, I'd say, particularly after Oolong starts talking. The last line is a bit tryhard though. #"there was this shark his name was Barnaby he was good at scrivening my sister went to him all the time to get workerd on. Suddenly turtle jr. was swimming in the sea looking to get scrabs like his papi had. There are huge majestic tuna in the sea and they cum everywhere. in the water um gets everywhere thats a life lesson i leanred when i was 13. All the fish are swimming with their mouths open they drink each others cum all day" - Bartleby, the Scrivener is a surrealist story written by Herman Melville that I had to read once. My third section is pretty random, but it's following very much in the vein of Sandboys, in terms of the tuna and shark mentioned there. The flow of the prose is a reference to The Tortoise and the Tourist by Modest Mouse. I did indeed learn not to cum in water at 13, because it got all in my family's spa and that was a mess to clean up without any of them figuring it out. Also, I don't have a sister. The last sentence is absolutely true though. The ocean is disgusting and scary and I never want to go in it for many, many reasons, but fish cum in the water is high on that list. #"There was a scary scark and he was comin for turt. Jr. but at the last second some crusty old sailor caught him and hoisted him up look how wonderful a hunter he is, hes a real man he’s got courage and strength pls mate with him asap" - this is where the shark stuff becomes more prominent. #"His name was Smoker’s Beard and he was an emulsive strawberry surprise. He took a pretty selfie with the shark hanging from the mast of his ship. Smoker’s Beard made sure to hold a rifle, dress himself up in a sleeping bag, and have his erect penile instrument poking out as well. IT was a wonderful pic and afterwards he threw the shark carcass back into the sea he had no use for it anymore." - this is amongst the angriest I've ever written for the BYARM stories. So I'm not going to be vague here. I fucking hate how many sharks and fish are hunted every year. People are savages and can't control themselves. We will destroy this world just to feed our unchecked desires. On an unrelated note, before I began writing these endnotes, I thought that Bardock was the one who got dressed up in the sleeping bag with the gun and his cock out. Guess it was the fisherman instead. Fits him. Also, that's a real picture. There was this army guy who posed for that exact shot, and I still think about it every now and then. Why the fuck would he do that? To what end, my nigga, to what end? #I do wonder if that's true about gingers and their pubic hair. #"In cloud cuckoo land lived a man named Desmond. He was an amiable man of the most noble visage and persona. He was, in a matter of words, a commisurate poo-ppoo platter. His barrow is bigger than this girl Shawn-queese i know at school." - I have few memories of this section, nor really any idea what most of it means (I don't know any girl named Shawn-queese). The reference to the barrow, however, alerts me to the fact that when I was writing this section, I was listening to "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by the Beatles. Also the dude in that song was named Desmond. #"Happy ever after, Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face, and in the evening, he’s actually a little clown named dango. Now i know what ur saying, how can he do this to his wife and go out at night and party while she has to stay hom and bake kfinger pies and whatnot but its not like that homely, its not" - this is a nice transition. By this point, I had decieded that my final three sections of this story would reference each of my three writing buddies: DD, TUN, and Creeperman. The first one references DD, since he was my first collaborator. Dango was of course the eponymous protagonist of The Ballad of Dango. Also, that thing about Desmond staying home and doing his pretty face is in the Beatles' song, and although it was an error by Paul McCartney to sing that (as opposed to Desmond's wife, Molly, doing her face), but he kept it in anyways. It allowed for a nifty little transition. The finger pie thing is cool. Don't remember writing that, but it's a clever callback. #"“He stuck his hand up Swag n Peppers puppet hole and did ventriloquism with small chinese child of old man with a pony tail and oopium mustache. He was gonna go cheer pasta up its not everyday u find out ur a bastard child. That was when dango ran into future tournament announcer dude who was in cloud cuckoo land 2, which is a cumshot away from Limbo, HZ’s fav dead place to go for all his character. Hes a sadomachichist and he likes when naked girls hold weapons or are being mated by large monster-like cretures. HZ has weird fetishes like that, but his worst fiesthis imo is his love of naked girsl being swallowed by big tentacle aliens and somehow that makes him cum wtf" - Swag and Pepper, as well as the Tournament Announcer are two characters appearing in my BYARM collabs with DD. The stuff about HZ may or may not be true, and it led to my little convo with TUN in the text. We had many of these, mainly to alert one another who's turn it is. TUN wanted to keep this convo in for some reason, though. Never much liked HZ's concept of Limbo, though I've gone along with it. Personally, I don't think there's any evidence that such a place does or could exist in Other World. #So yeah, I basically spent my entire fourth section referencing DD's collabs with me for BYARM while vaguely tying it into the rest of the story. But hey, that's pretty much what I do anyways. #"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck jeepers mmmcock,” his name was Debra he wore a trainer bra, brah" - TUN wanted to end the story here. Debra is what I referred to Dabura as during my BYARM collabs with Creeperman. The actual quote is something I have referenced and spoken about before: it's what the mime says in this one mime porn when he tries to dirty talk a woman after presumably decades of never saying a word. #Cheeky Velma joke there. #"He made this little shit called bumblee how the fuck can he even fly hes not really fat though but hes got wee horns so that counts for something right" - a combination of Beelzebub and a bumblebee, I believe. I was looking up if scientists had figured out how bumblebees could fly on the day we wrote the last six parts. #"“Baby baby boy baby boy baby,” complained Kukajabaram y favorite of all the lumpy lawn gnomes “i need a potato face cum baby”" - Kukajabara is one of my favorite things I did in my collabs with Creeperman. #"“Ive got my roomkey in the car, why dnt u lube my pistol” complained Issssss. Brck. Montgomery was wondering where Issss. Brck. was but he cund tind find him so what can you do sometings u gotta cum by urself." - the dialogue references the lyrics of Pistol by Modest Mouse. Issssss. Brck. is Isaac Brock, the lead singer of that band. It's true that sometimes you gotta cum by yourself. It makes me feel, but I don't know if it makes me helpless or comforted. #"When chiharu slept on top of me she was like bitch rub ur dick against my puse and im like wtf whered that come from ur a crazy half-japanese girl she did it to me every time except the last time when" - a true story that has perplexed me for months that also references the opening lyrics of El Scorcho by Weezer. I'm pretty sure Chiharu's 100% Japanese, though. #"Now i know what ur sayin, he hasn’t referenced the Guac!! Shut fcuk ur mouth bitch titits. Ok so abo and kado are like a pair of lesbians right, they both enjoy scissoring and something else lesbians like. My cousin is a lesbian. She married another lesbian. She’s kinda hot but her wife isn’t. Why am I more attracted to my cousin than her wife, that’s a question for my next section." - a bit exaggerated, I suppose, but my cousin is undeniably hotter than her wife. Also, I'm not sure that I've ever spoken to this cousin before. She's one of those relatives that's sometimes there, but you never specifically talk to them, so you and them end up never connecting. That could explain why I want to lay it on her. #All of Abo and Kado's dialogue is referencing Ansel by Modest Mouse. I think it's pretty clear by now that I was very often listening to Strangers to Ourselves while writing my sections. There's a good deal of (attempted) subtlety in their conversation, but I will not be revealing the meaning of their conversation here. Yes, it's funny, but that's not always good enough. Especially not eight stories into this collection. #The cunny tasting like honey line is a reference to my A Song of Ice and Fire fanon, The Lost Dragon. #"Beerus got so charged up with power that his hair started to grow back sop he wasn’t a hairless cat anymore hewas a big ol snuggy fluffy boy now while he proceeded to murder the fuck out of the solar system.+" - this is hilarious. #I really liked TUN ranting a bit about the Broly movies. He was getting into the BYARM spirit there! #So with my final section, I had no mythology to build off of, so I made up a bunch of stuff. Gucci Gnocchi is one such character, another child of Bardock following the style of Pasta's name pun. #"Gucci Gnocchi liked to climb the steps and chase space babboons and surf on space coconuts and fondle his grand-papi grand ucnle King Sebastian of the Starchilds beard." - these characters are likely to appear in some capacity in my next collab with TUN. #"Pasta squealed and cummed for his daddy, bardock threw some sand on him for good measure." - this is a really sweet gesture. The father-son reunion we were all waiting for brought a tear to my eye. #Bardock turning on Pasta like that was really sad. #"One time my friend mr. q said he dont like pasta i like what nigga u 4 real who doesnt like pasta and he replied maybe a dango ate ur baby cunt." - so this is a good example of what this whole story is. It's a random tangent going off on another tangent that never resolves into anything coherent. It's clever, though, as that's a real story from my life, and it ties to the moment Pasta dies for obvious, albeit ridiculous, reasons. The dango thing is a reference to the "Maybe a Dango ate your baby" line from The Ballad of Dango. Nice little fic. Good to collab with TeamUnitedNerds here. It's a promising start in many ways, although our next Baby You're a Rich Man story will, unfortunately, not be as graphic as this one, so I'm not sure how much we can build off this. TUN is definitely skilled at writing, and he produced some great stuff in his opening BYARM story. Liked his growth here. For myself, I did alright, I suppose. I won't be rating this story, though, as I've not rated any of the other Baby You're a Rich Man stories before it. <---- Part 84 Part 86 ----> Category:TeamUnitedNerds Category:Fan Fiction Category:Collaboration